Every night these weeks, I had to deal with anxiety and absorbed by many thoughts of it. Constantly, I reflected about the regrets of things that should have been done and should not have. I kept thinking about the past and distressing the future. I blamed myself for being me. At that time, I was fucked up real bad and thing’s gotten worse due to the lack of support from my surroundings. I had no one to talk to, no one to pat my head and assure me.
Last night, I read a self-help book about kicking the worries out. I just have read the first chapter of the book but it already gave me insights; to fight off worries, one must stop to recall knowledge from the memory of the past or overthink the future, and start to cherish the present. Don’t get me wrong, defining your future IS a must, but being too worried about that is not good either.
The book consists of the stories of those who once failed in the past, was in a troublesome situation, but still found a way to build a great, great future. That was a bit reassuring to know that I’m not the only one who worried much about the future due to failure in the past. Almost everyone has been there, but not everyone has done that. I do not want to be the latter, I should end this suffering.
The book also teaches me to embrace the today and appreciate whoever you are today. Yesterdays might be flawed, but it’s dead. No matter how much we regret it, how much we wish we could go back and change it, we will never have the capability of changing the past. Although it creates the most of today-us, just let the dead past burry its dead. The same goes to the future, no one can guarantee the presence of tomorrow, so don’t be anxious about the unborn tomorrow.
Most of us deliberate that the past has the biggest impact on defining our future, we are wrong. It is who we are today and what we do today that affects the future-us. We have the power to improve ourselves to achieve the better tomorrows by stop letting the past exhaust our mind. I KNOW EXACTLY how hard it is because I also am still struggling to win, or at least leave without more wound, from this war. There are still lots of time for us to change. I believe in that.
Be happier. Be grateful. Live and enjoy the currents.
Let’s be the change,