Now I’ve stopped watering the dead flowers

I am so fed up with my current uni life. Everything becomes a mess because of things called group projects. As far as I know, group projects are actually meant to lessen the amount of works to do and to ease the burden. On the contrary, what really happens to me is the exact opposite. To help you to figure it out (and to vent what’s been piled up inside my brain), I will tell you the real event which happened to me this week.

It was Friday. The weather was hot as hell which in a way affected my mood. Our group had to edit our midterm reports due that day, thus we gathered at campus. On that group, I have to work with people I barely knew, despite the amount of common classes we had taken, which makes everything seems worse for me. But that’s not the main problem.

(Disclaimer: I really don’t mean to discredit this girl and I don’t mean to brag.)

The main problem is this girl who’s the kind of bottleneck of the group. She is sorta slow and hard to understand (it’s not only me. Some friends of mine said so!). I was always trying to act kind towards her and to tolerate her slow pace but that Friday, I lost my control.

This girl needed more than two bloody hours to sum up a previously-written-in-two-pages summary into one solid page. Meanwhile I had done rewriting executive summary of the reports, adding additional theory and revising more than a half of the document during the equivalent hours. Even worse, her work was so messed up and confusing. The worst of the worst, she left me with that kind of work without saying a word right after I told her to revise her own work. That really exasperated me. (@ God: what have I done in the past to be in a group with a girl like that?)

As you can see, having to work with people who are (sorry) incapable makes the burden heavier. Say, you can finish a task in two hours all by yourself, but you have to wait for more hours because your teammates haven’t finished their work yet. As you wait, you become impatient and you start to think “am I supposed to cover up their task?” but then you’re like “what’s the point of group project if you do it all by yourself” so you let them finish their work. Hours later they send you the mail and when you check their work, it’s a total mess. Then in the end you have to revise the assignment for the sake of your score (and the rest of the group’s score).

I used to be the ‘you‘ in the paragraph above. I was the one who bettered my other teammates’ work so that our score would be satisfying. As a result, in one of the subjects, I got the lowest score among them all. The result indeed made me furious. Who on Earth wouldn’t get mad when they were the one who worked harder and got the lowest score? This moment then altered my attitude in a group project.

Now, after learning it the hard way, I become the one with nothing to lose attitude. Especially when it comes to group project with unhelpful team. In some cases, I am no longer willing to revise or reedit my teammates’ messed up works. I just let them be. The thing is, why would I waste my time and energy to repair the broken things while the others don’t care about that?

As long as no one can guarantee that if you work harder in the group project, you’ll get the better result, I will still be the same Tiara who will do her best to finish her responsibilities without giving attention to other members’ works. (Although this shit is so hard to implement when you are a perfectionist who gets easily irritated by an unorganized thing aka yours truly)


7 Comments Add yours

  1. Raihan says:

    Product design can really change everything, am I right or am I right?

    1. tiaralesmana says:

      Yesss. So glad it’s already over!

  2. rinafi3 says:

    Oh my god, aku juga sering mengalami hal ini. Ketika sebuah makalah kelompok yang dikerjakan oleh teman sekelompok bgitu buruk, tidak sistematis, banyak typo, etc, aku harus memperbaikinya habis-habisan dengan membacanya secara keseluruhan tanpa melewatkan satu katapun. Bagaikan melakukan pekerjaan yang sama dua kali. Aku tidak bisa tidur nyenyak jika belum melakukan hal itu. Disaat orang akan senang jika tidak perlu ikut terlibat dalam pembuatan makalah dan hanya perlu membayar uang print saja, aku malah lebih senang jika mengerjakan makalah itu sendiri dengan caraku. Betapa melelahkannya menjadi perfeksionis😰

    1. tiaralesmana says:

      I KNOW RIGHT!!! The downside of being a perfectionist in a world full of irresponsible souls. :(

  3. Anonymous says:

    I know what you were feeling. Isn’t it very dilemmatic when you were put in a group like that. A bit backstory, I’m kinda what you described in your post, a perfectionist (not that much though, but oh well). Gosh, I knew I am not supposed to be a bitchy person who keeps downplaying others’ efforts but…. sometimes deep inside I wanna burn the whole world because there are individuals who keeps dragging the team down. The worst part is, sometimes either they are born with the carefree-I-don’t-care attitude towards group projects or just airheads who can’t read the situation. It’s kinda evil to be angry on them. Oh well, sorry for ranting my own problems on your blog, but I hope knowing that there are others who share the same relatable experience could at least remedy your broken heart ❤ ❤ Cheers!!!

  4. @CHOCOQUEENY says:

    I know your feel 😅
    Its really made you’re annoyed right?

  5. @AdinRim says:

    emang sih suka kebawa emosi jadinya

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