Being Freed from Cage (and Doesn’t Like It)

Hello! It’s July already and my timeline is literally full of people talking about Game of Thrones S07. So fed up with it—not because I’m that “hey I don’t watch GoT, you basic” kind of snobs, but because I’ve only watched the first two seasons I couldn’t keep up with the updates. LOL. For now let’s put aside the #WinterIsComing hype and embrace the #FinalYearIsComing instead. (Ew.)

Unbelievable, I will be on my final year by the end of August, which implies that this year’s semester break is my very last three-months-of-slouching holiday. Wait, I’m not even slouching right now, I’m on an internship program. Ugh, growing up sucks.

If you are curious, this is not the kind of internship I voluntarily, willingly applied. I am actually obliged by my department to do internship in industries that match the core competence—chemical engineering, bioprocess engineering, and stuffs, in order to implement all the lessons that had been taught on the real life engineering problem.

After all the struggles of finding the right company, we—there are three of us because the department didn’t let anyone do the internship alone lest someone got depressed and decided to commit suicide etc. PS. I don’t get that logic either because there are three of us and I’m still depressed!!—finally got accepted in a company far, far away from home. Actually it is not that far from my house, but still far enough for me to drive back and forth every day. That being said, I decided to rent a teeny-weeny house near the office-slash-plant for the next two months.

The internship life is good. Got to meet new friends, which at first very quite but finally getting along pretty well; a quite comfortable meeting room dedicated for the five of us; free lunches—although none of the food satisfied me; friendly staffs—although the one whom I should ask regarding my project is not friendly (he scares me what should I do); and every other good things my goldfish memory cannot recall. There are only two things that bother me: the ridiculous jobdesc given to me and the place I currently live in.

First, the ridiculous job. I can totally relate to the theme song of FRIENDS:

your job’s a joke, you’re broke, your love life’s D.O.A

Before being an intern, I could only relate to the last two—yeah, most of the time I feel like I’m so broke I cannot afford anything in this world and my love life… what do you expect from a love that has always ended before it even started. Now that I am assigned to my current task, I finally could sing the whole line from the bottom of my heart.

My supervisor—also the plant manager—gave me a task about reducing product shrinkage due to dust collector. I was kinda frightened because at that time I didn’t even know what dust collector was, how it worked, how it looked like. I Google-research it up until now and none of the result satisfies me. Feels like my brain cells also shrink as I think about how to reduce the product shrinkage. The worst, first presentation on Thursday and I have no idea what I will talk about. Gibberish?

However, the nonsensical task (at least for me) means nothing when compared with the place I currently live in. (Brace yourself for the upcoming rant)

At first I was excited by the idea of living far from my mom—”I’m officially an adult now. I live by my own, I can do whatever I want to”. Stuffs like that. I thought it was nice and cool until it started.

On the first day, I came to the house only to see a dying cockroach waiting for me near the bathroom. I almost freaked out but felt relieved because, thank God, my roommate was not afraid of roaches. However, on one attempt of killing a cockroach, a little bit of its fluid spilled on my bedsheet. Yuck! I ALMOST CRIED AND WANTED TO GO HOME, but at that time I had a fever so I decided to sleep.

All of the anxiety and fear were culminated on night two. That was around 10 p.m., I was casually walking to the bathroom and guess what I found… my eternal enemies. I almost shouted out loud but I respected my roommate, so I ended up chatting my mom saying that I didn’t want to live there anymore. To that she replied that it was just me being childish etc. I surrendered and asked her to at least bring my spring mattress because I couldn’t stand the thought of cockroaches walking around me, or worse walking on me, while sleeping. (Additional story, the bed I had was a super thin mattress that almost touched the floor) She said, “We’ll see,” and guess what the next morning my dad texted me saying that he already called his friend who worked at Holcim and asked him to send me a more decent mattress. #BestParentsEver! That afternoon they actually sent me one. Very embarassing but comfort is #1.

Besides the unending psychological battles with cockroaches, the foods around here are in the verge of crossing the ‘non-edible’ line. I was born a picky eater—close friends of mine must’ve known the problem I had with food and how hard it was for me to clean my plate. That being said, I had a hard time eating here. Since I’ve been living the last twenty years by “I’d rather go hungry than eat unpleasant food” motto, I end up almost always skip breakfast and have sleep for dinner. When will all of this come to the end??? (Every Friday, stupid)

Okay, I guess this is the end ofa blog post-slash-rant about my ‘new life’. Just so you know I’ve literally spent my whole Tuesday on WordPress instead of reading journals related to dust collector or visiting the plant. My bad.

(a kinda long) P.S. If you happen to read this you must think of me as one of the spoiled, ungrateful kids who cannot survive the world without their parents’ privileges. Kind of true. But in my defense that’s a pretty normal reaction came from someone who had been ‘caged’ all the time. Adjustment, you might say.

(a kinda long) P.P.S. However, every cloud has its silver lining. All the miserable things happen during this period make me realize one thing: I was so used to live inside my comfortable cage the real world scares the hell out of me. And I’m glad that I’m being freed now, even maybe it’s too late. Because by the time I have to live alone, like literally alone, I will already have the idea of what to do and not.

(a finally short one) P.P.P.S. Good luck for me (and for y’all)!



  1. Sometimes it is good to get out from our comfort zone. Even it sucks and takes hell lot of time to adapt, we would learn something differrent and be more independent mankind.
    Good luck on whatever you do

    1. Yeah. At first it was real hard to adapt you thought you were gonna die, but as time went by it made you a much better person and made you feel so grateful for what you’ve had. (I learned it the hard way!)

      Thanks. Right back at you!

  2. Ya know even by “kos-life” standards, a cockroach hanging out on your bed is pretty rough. I had not once but two suxh experience in my internship life as well at Solo. I damned made sure every small holes and openings are blocked off, and I never fully open my door when I get in/out of the room (ie: makin sure no creepy crawlies can bandwagon my way to my room through the door by having the smallest possible door opening).
    And guess what I guess God knows im a scaredy cat. Boom. 11 pm and a cockroach hanging on my bed. Cried. Called mom. Decided to throw it away by lifting the whole bedsheet and throwing it out. Slept sheet-less. Those little shits seem to be able to materialize whenever fuck they want just to scare the hell outta me.
    Cockroach are dirty af, so any screams and wailings you make when they invade your private space is always justified, even in court, so no need to be ashamed lol.

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